Creating time isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
It all starts with how you define time.
If you think about it, there is only one time – Right Now.
Everything else is a mind creation.
Your mind is a control freak. Its main objective is to obscure the present moment with the past and future.
Creating time is, in effect, saying no to the present moment in exchange for a world that exists only in your mind.

The post Time Isn’t An Asset Class appeared first on A Teachable Moment.

After reviewing my analysis on a conversation I had with a financial professional in 2013, I decided to take another close look at my finances. To my surprise, I uncovered a huge gap between my perceived risk tolerance and the reality of my portfolio. Since leaving work in 2012, I’ve generally seen myself as a […]

The post Uncover Your True Investment Risk Profile: It’s Not What You Think appeared first on Financial Samurai.

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Let’s face it: being young and broke is no fun, but the good news is there are plenty of ways to earn extra cash without sacrificing your sanity. Whether you’re saving for a big purchase, paying off student loans, or just trying to build up your savings, side hustles can be the perfect solution. With the right strategy, you can find a gig that fits your schedule and boosts your bank account. Here are some of the best side hustles for young adults looking to get ahead.

Freelance Writing and Content Creation

If you’ve got a way with words, freelance writing could be one of the best side hustles for young adults. Websites and businesses are always on the lookout for fresh content, from blog posts to social media updates. It’s a flexible gig you can do from anywhere, and you get to set your own hours. Plus, there’s no upfront investment—just your creativity and a reliable internet connection.

Become a Delivery Driver

Driving for apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, or Instacart can be an easy way to make extra cash, especially if you already have a car. You can choose your hours, making it a great side hustle for young adults who need a flexible schedule. It’s simple: pick up food or groceries and drop them off while listening to your favorite playlist. The best part? You get to pocket tips and enjoy a little adventure along the way.

Sell Handmade Goods Online

If you’re crafty, why not turn your hobby into one of the best side hustles for young adults? Platforms like Etsy allow you to sell everything from jewelry to digital art prints. It’s a fun way to monetize your creativity while building a small business. Whether you knit, paint, or design, there’s a market out there for unique, handmade items.

Tutoring or Teaching Online

Are you great at math, science, or any other subject? Tutoring can be a lucrative and fulfilling side hustle for young adults who excel academically. With websites like Chegg or VIPKid, you can connect with students who need your expertise. You set your own rates and schedule, making it easy to fit this gig around your main commitments.

Start a Pet Sitting or Dog Walking Service

If you love animals, pet sitting and dog walking are some of the most enjoyable side hustles out there. Apps like Rover make it simple to connect with pet owners looking for reliable sitters. You get paid to play with adorable pets, and it’s an easy way to get some exercise too. It’s a win-win if you’re looking for a job that feels more like a hobby.

Social Media Management

Young adults who are savvy with social media can turn their skills into a profitable side hustle. Many small businesses need help managing their online presence but don’t have the time or expertise. If you’re already spending hours on Instagram or TikTok, why not get paid for it? Helping brands grow their following and engagement can be both fun and financially rewarding.

Flip Items for Profit

Flipping items from thrift stores or garage sales is one of the best side hustles for young adults who have an eye for deals. Look for gently used clothes, electronics, or home decor that can be resold online for a profit. It takes a bit of patience and a knack for finding hidden gems, but it can be surprisingly lucrative. Plus, it’s like a treasure hunt every time you shop.

Start a YouTube Channel or Podcast

For young adults with a passion for sharing ideas, starting a YouTube channel or podcast can be an exciting side hustle. It might take time to build an audience, but once you do, there are plenty of ways to monetize your content. From sponsorships to ad revenue, the income potential can be huge. The key is to find a niche you’re passionate about and be consistent with your content.

Finding Your Perfect Side Hustle

The best side hustles for young adults are the ones that fit your skills, interests, and lifestyle. Whether you’re freelancing, flipping items, or taking care of pets, there’s no shortage of ways to make extra money. Take the plunge and try out a few different gigs until you find the one that clicks for you.

The post Young And Broke: These Are 8 Of The Best Side Hustles For Young Adults appeared first on Budget and the Bees.

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In a world where managing money wisely can make all the difference, financial literacy is the key to unlocking a wealthier, more secure future. Whether you’re a novice or already familiar with the basics of personal finance, there are always new strategies and insights to discover. One of the easiest ways to enhance your financial literacy is by diving into books written by experts. Here are seven essential reads that will teach you how to take control of your finances and build lasting wealth.

“Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki

Kiyosaki’s classic book, “Rich Dad Poor Dad,” is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their financial literacy. The book contrasts the mindset of Kiyosaki’s two father figures—one rich, one poor—and the lessons he learned from both. It breaks down complex concepts into simple, relatable stories that resonate with readers of all ages. This book will change the way you think about money, investing, and building financial independence.

“The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey’s “The Total Money Makeover” is a game-changer for those looking to overhaul their financial habits. The book offers a step-by-step plan for paying off debt, building savings, and achieving financial freedom. Ramsey’s straightforward advice and tough-love approach make it easy to understand and implement. It’s a perfect guide for anyone serious about gaining control over their financial future.

“The Intelligent Investor” by Benjamin Graham

If you’re interested in mastering the stock market, “The Intelligent Investor” by Benjamin Graham is an essential read. Graham’s principles focus on value investing, teaching readers how to make smart, long-term investments based on data rather than emotion. This book will deepen your financial literacy by providing a solid foundation in investing strategies that stand the test of time. Warren Buffett himself has praised this book as one of the best investment guides ever written.

“You Are a Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero

Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass at Making Money” offers a refreshing, no-nonsense approach to financial literacy. Her witty, motivational style encourages readers to shift their mindset and adopt a wealth-building attitude. Sincero shares personal anecdotes and practical tips for overcoming self-doubt and financial roadblocks. It’s a great pick for those who want to boost their confidence along with their bank account.

“Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin

“Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin dives deep into the connection between time, money, and happiness. This book challenges readers to reassess their relationship with money and focus on what truly matters. Robin’s nine-step program is designed to help readers achieve financial independence while finding joy in simpler, more intentional living. It’s a transformative read for anyone aiming to align their finances with their values.

“I Will Teach You to Be Rich” by Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi’s “I Will Teach You to Be Rich” is a straightforward guide to financial literacy, packed with practical advice and actionable tips. Sethi covers topics like automating your finances, optimizing your credit cards, and investing smartly. His humorous, relatable writing style makes complex financial concepts easy to grasp. This book is perfect for young adults looking to build a strong financial foundation early on.

“The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko

“The Millionaire Next Door” reveals the surprising traits and habits of America’s millionaires. Stanley and Danko show that most millionaires live frugally and prioritize investing over spending. This book is an eye-opener for anyone who thinks wealth is all about flashy cars and expensive clothes. It’s a must-read for those wanting to understand the principles of financial literacy that lead to true wealth.

Taking Your Financial Literacy to the Next Level

Reading these books is a great way to boost your financial IQ and take control of your financial future. Each offers unique insights and actionable advice that can help you build wealth and achieve your money goals. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to refine your skills, these essential reads are a valuable investment in your financial education.

The post Boost Your Financial IQ: 7 Essential Books to Master Money Management appeared first on Clever Dude Personal Finance & Money.

Discover has been around for decades. Most people know about its credit cards, which were first introduced in 1985 by Sears. At the time, it was novel because it had no annual fee and offered cardholders a higher-than-average credit limit.

Today, Discover Bank (FDIC# 5649) is headquartered in Greenwood, DE. It offers a wide range of bank accounts, from savings, checking, and CDs to loans and credit cards.

At a Glance

  • 4.00% APY
  • No fees
  • No miminum balance requirements
  • Checking account, money market, and CDs are also available from Discover.

Who Should Use Discover Online Savings

If you are in the market for an online savings account, Discover is a solid choice. It consistently has a high interest rate and there are no fees.

The drawback is that there are no physical branches, so you’ll have to access the account through the Discover website or via the mobile app. You also can’t deposit cash.

Discover Alternatives

Savings APY 4.00% APY 1.00% APY 4.00% APY
Monthly fee $0 $0 $0
Minimum balance $0 $0 $0
Learn more Learn more Learn more
Table of Contents
  1. At a Glance
  2. Who Should Use Discover Online Savings
  3. Discover Bank Online Savings
  4. Other Discover Bank Accounts
    1. Checking Account
    2. Money Market Account
    3. Certificates of Deposit
  5. Discover Bank Fee Structure
  6. Discover Mobile Banking Smartphone App
  7. Discover Alternatives
    1. Capital One 360
    2. American Express
    3. Ally Bank
  8. Is It Worth Getting?

Discover Bank Online Savings

Discover’s High Yield Savings account earns 4.00% APY with no minimum balance requirement. Interest is calculated daily and applied to the account monthly.

The account doesn’t charge a monthly fee or any other kind of fee. There is no excessive withdrawal fee, stop payment fee, returned item fee, or insufficient funds fee.

There are several ways to deposit money into this online savings account, such as direct deposit, online transfer from a checking account, mobile deposit, and mailing a check. However, you cannot deposit cash at Walmart like with the checking account.

If you set up direct deposit, you can receive your funds up to two days early with Early Pay.

Go to Discover

Other Discover Bank Accounts

Discover offers a full range of bank accounts with a few (good) twists.

Checking Account

Discover’s checking account has no fees and no minimum balance requirements. Also, its Cashback Debit card allows you to earn 1% cash back on up to $3,000 in spending per month on your debit card (see website for details). Cashback on a debit card is rare.

Since it’s an online bank, depositing cash is a little more difficult. Discover allows you to deposit cash at any Walmart in the U.S. for free. You can add cash up to four times per day, or seven times per week and the money will be available in your account in about ten minutes.

The ATM network is huge – 60,000 locations – and they use Allpoint and MoneyPass’s networks.

You can also enable Balance+, which acts as overdraft protection. This feature allows you to use your debit card to overdraw the account up to $200 with no fees. To qualify for Balance+ you must have direct deposit of at least $200 per month for two months.

You can also receive your direct deposit up to two days early with Early Pay.

Go to Discover

Money Market Account

The money market account earns 3.80% APY for balances under $100,000 and 3.85% APY for balances of $100,000 and above. There are no fees or minimum balance requirements on this account.

You will receive a debit card with this account and can access the account at over 60,000 ATMs for free. Like the checking account, you can deposit cash at any Walmart in the U.S. for free. If you have direct deposit to this account you can get your direct deposit up to two days early.

Certificates of Deposit

Discover offers several CD terms, all with competitive interest rates. To open a CD, there is no minimum deposit. The interest rates are as follows:

  • 3-month: 2.00% APY
  • 6-month: 3.90% APY
  • 9-month: 4.00% APY
  • 12-month: 4.10% APY
  • 18-month: 3.80% APY
  • 24-month: 3.60% APY
  • 3-year: 3.50% APY
  • 4-year: 3.40% APY
  • 5-year: 3.40% APY

As with most CDs, there is a penalty if you withdraw funds before the end of the term. For example, CDs with terms less than 1 year have a penalty of 3 months simple interest, and CDs with terms between 1 and 4 years have a penalty of 6 months of simple interest.

Go to Discover

Discover Bank Fee Structure

Discover Bank doesn’t charge very many fees for its bank accounts.

  • No monthly maintenance fee on any deposit account (checking, savings, money market, or CDs)
  • No minimum balance on checking, savings, or money market accounts
  • No fee on ATM withdrawals in-network (60,000 ATMs) on checking or money market accounts
  • No fee on check reorders on checking
  • No fee on online transfers on checking, savings, or money market
  • No fee on online billpay for checking and market

If you’ve ever made an “excessive number of withdrawals” from a savings account, you were probably upset by the fee. It’s Regulation D limits the number of transfers you can make from a savings account. Well, Discover does not charge you a fee for that. They also don’t charge one for a stop payment or insufficient funds.

Discover Mobile Banking Smartphone App

Discover has a mobile banking app that is on par with any other online bank out there. Anything you would want from a branch or online is available – you can check your account, make transfers, find an ATM, and even deposit checks with mobile deposit.

If you have an Apple Watch, Discover Mobile is available on that too. You can access your account, get reminders, and Cashback Bonus notifications.

The mobile banking app gets 4.5 stars on Google Play and 4.9 stars on the App Store.

Go to Discover

Discover Alternatives

Capital One 360

Capital One, another bank known for its credit cards, also has some attractive banking options. The Capital One 360 checking has no fees or minimum balance requirements and earns 0.01% APY. When comparing this against Discover’s checking account, you’ll have to balance earning a bit of interest against getting 1% back on your debit card purchases.

Capital One also has a savings account that earns 4.00% APY with no fees. It also offers a wide variety of CDs with competitive rates, but no money market account.

Here’s our full review of Capital One’s 360 Savings account.

Go to Capital One

American Express

Ameican Express offers a rewards checking, a high-yield savings account and CDs. The checking account earns 1.00% APY on your balance. Compared to Discover’s checking account, this likely earns more as it earns interest on your whole balance, not just what you spend on your debit card. There are also no monthly fees and no minimum balance requirements.

It also offers a high-yield savings account that earns 4.25% APY with no monthly fees or minimums. It also has a variety of CDs with competitive interest rates with no minimum balance requirements.

Go to American Express

Ally Bank

Ally Bank is an online bank that offers a checking account and a high-yield savings account which earns 4.00% APY. Neither account charges a monthly fee or have minimum balance requirement.

Ally also offers several different types of CDs with attractive rates and it also has a money market account.

Go to Ally Bank

Is It Worth Getting?

If you do not have an online bank, Discover’s online savings account is a solid choice.

It has a competitive interest rate, nice range of certificates of deposit terms and rates, plus it offers a checking account reward – a rarity. They check all the boxes and add a cherry on top.

Their Cashback Debit account product is one of the biggest advantages. You do not see debit rewards very often and 1% cash back on up to $3,000 in purchases each month is very generous.

If you already have an online bank that you like, Discover Bank is similar (the rewards checking is nice but 1% of the maximum $3,000 is only $30, may not be worth switching). Discover Bank has no minimum balance or maintenance fees so it won’t cost you anything – plus you still get a high-interest rate on the account so you don’t lose out there.

Lastly, if awards are important to you, they have a 5 Star Rating Safe & Sound from Bankrate and a 5 Star Rating from Nerdwallet.

You can contact Discover Bank by calling 1-800-347-7000, and they accept general correspondence at Discover Bank, PO Box 30416, Salt Lake City, UT 84130.

Go to Discover

The post Discover® Bank Online Savings Account Review appeared first on Best Wallet Hacks.

Life with JB We were talking with our friends about their overachiever parent friends whose kids have grueling schedules at the age of 13-14. Kids who are getting up at 3-4 am to train for 3 hours before a full day of school, for example. They wondered how unhealthy that might be especially if it’s […]

Judy McCutcheon 0:02

When you don’t deal with certain things, you don’t deal with certain fears, when you don’t believe in yourself, when you don’t believe in your abilities. And let me tell you, we are some of the smartest people in the room, but that self belief, if we don’t have it, we never gonna raise our hands. We won’t voice our opinions because we are afraid of being shut down. T minus

Jamila Souffrant 0:30

10 seconds. Welcome to the journey. To launch podcast with your host, Jamila Souffrant as a money expert who walks her talk, she helps brave journeyers like you get out of debt, save, invest and build real wealth. Join her on the journey to launch to financial freedom, 54321,

if you want the episode show notes for this episode, go to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you’re listening to this episode in the show notes, you’ll get the transcribed version of the conversation, the links that we mentioned, and so much more also, whether you are an OG journeyer or brand new to the podcast, I’ve created a free jump Start guide to help you on your financial freedom journey. It includes the top episodes to listen to, stages to go through. Okay, let’s hop into the episode. Versus and so much more you can go to journey to launch.com/jump start to get your guide right now. Okay, let’s hop into the episode. Hey, hey, hey, journeyers, welcome to the journey. To launch Podcast. I’m really excited to be speaking to today’s guest. Her name is Judy McCutcheon. She’s a vibrant and passionate advocate for Caribbean leadership, deeply rooted in her love for the region. Born in Trinidad and Tobago, and she had a short stint in Belize, it looks like and now residing in Grenada, okay, living all across the Caribbean, I love that you really have diverse interactions and a background with citizens from across the region, and so you can appreciate, and she appreciates, the characteristics that make us all unique, and she has dedicated her career and supporting Caribbean development through human resources. She is a human resource expert. She has really forged a path within the space. She has a conference that she’s going to talk about later, a destructive Leadership Conference, and so many things that I can’t wait to get into. So welcome to the podcast.

Judy McCutcheon 2:38

Judy, thank you very much. Thank you. I’m excited to be here. Jamila, thank you so

Jamila Souffrant 2:44

Judy, just I want to kind of go back a little bit, because as I read, you know, kind of in the introduction, it was a summary of, like, where you were born, all the places you lived. I jumped over a lot. And I know you are someone who has lived life. So I want to go back a bit because my audience, who I call journeyers, they are on the path to wanting to achieve financial independence and living their best lives, whatever that looks like for them. And we all have different starting points and different advantages disadvantages that help us or that we need to work through. So I want to kind of go back to your origin story of how you started, and go through the points of what eventually led you to where you are today. So can we kind of go back to your beginnings in Trinidad and Tobago?

Judy McCutcheon 3:27

Yes, certainly we can. So I grew up in the smaller of the two islands, which is Tobago. So I grew up in a little village we had, like about maybe less than 500 people in her village, a single mother, eight out of 10. And just this past weekend, I was talking to my mom, and she was telling me that when she was working, when we were growing up, she worked for $3.45 a month, and so that is what she had to use to raise us. So I didn’t grow up well. I didn’t think that I was poor. What I felt is that we didn’t have material stuff, but I didn’t feel that we were poor. But one of the things that was really hitting for me is it was food. And I’m saying food because I want to tell you a story about that. So food was always an issue. I mean, like all these children, 345, a month, single parent. So there were days when we had no food. There were days when, you know we have we came home from school, eat some mango, went back to school, that kind of thing. And I remember as an as a young adult, I moved to Trinidad, and I started working. And when I started working, I remember I used to. Go into the supermarket, because nobody can afford to do things. I can go into the supermarket and I would go to every single aisle and buy stuff. My card was always overloaded with stuff, and, you know, stuff that I wanted or not, because it was that scarcity and lack feeling from not having so that was one of the things that I did try and, you know, fill that void. Kind of thing my mom couldn’t pay for university, but I eventually put myself through University. I was the first one. I am, the first one in my family to have a university degree. And that’s the next thing, is that what my mom always used to say is education is your way out of poverty. And I really educated myself. And sometimes I think that we go overboard, because I have, I don’t know, about four different things. And I was, I’m signed up to do my PhD, and decided not. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not going to, I’m not going to do that. So from there, putting myself through school in between those times, it was really rough. I have to, I really have to tell you, it was rough. It was, I say that I was on path to moral self destruction because you grew up one way and you are in a particular mindset. You think a particular way about yourself, and so when good things start happening to you, you sabotage it because, not because you intentionally want to sabotage it, but simply because you have that feeling inside that this can’t be real. This is not for me, and so I’ve had a real journey of struggle with myself, with crazy partying, crazy drinking. I mean, just doing a bunch of crazy stuff. But I think it was uh searching, a searching kind of thing, because I went to church, I stopped, I did so many different things, trying to find who I am in everything that was happening to me. So from then, I lived in Trinidad for a while, and then I moved to Belize. I got married so well my first marriage. So let me, let me tell you, I got married twice. So this is my second marriage. By my first marriage, I met this guy, and we were, I think we were on the same self destructive path, and I think we bonded based on about traumas. And so he fed something in me, I fed something in him, and so we had that relationship, and we live together without we will we. We weren’t married at first, and then we got married. You know, pressure everybody you get, you’re living together. So we got married. But the funny thing is, and I want women, but women and men to pay attention to this when your intuition tells you something, listen, because my intuition accepted because I remember saying, I don’t want to get married again. I remember him saying to me, Well, we already sent out the invitation, and so he cannot convince me to go along with it. But would you know when I got to the church I was later than no bride, but when I got to the church, the priest had left,

Jamila Souffrant 9:07

that’s how late you were.

Judy McCutcheon 9:11

No, I wasn’t late. I wasn’t later than any other bride. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. I may have probably been maybe 20 minutes 30 minutes late, right? And so the priest had gone. And I think when I look back, I’m thinking, like, this was the universe. This was God saying no, but no, I still went ahead, got married, and of course, I’m on my second marriage, so we know how that ended. But all of that is simply because I didn’t see myself, you know, like I truly didn’t see me, I didn’t feel. That all these good things, this good job, making this amount of money, I didn’t think that I was worthy of it, so I did all this stuff that to kind of just throw it away, you know.

Jamila Souffrant 10:14

So it sounds like self a bit of self sabotage,

Judy McCutcheon 10:17

plenty of it, a lot of it.

Jamila Souffrant 10:20

So so much of who we are today as adults. Mostly, you know, the adults are listening to this, like who we are are shaped by so many things in our past. Even, you know, all the decisions that we make, the opportunities we see or don’t see, the self sabotage, the way we handle money. You talked about finally getting money and then, you know, wanting to spend it, because now you have the liberty to spend the money that you didn’t have before. So going a bit overboard. And I know so many people can relate to that mindset and working through that, but recognizing it. So what age were you around this time? Like, when you got married, like married, and what was your career? What were you doing to make money for yourself at that point,

Judy McCutcheon 10:59

when I think I was like 25 when I got married and I was working with a consulting firm. The lady who owned the firm was a US franchise, and I’d met her when, like, when I was like, about 20 and she took me under her wings, and really taught me a lot. So I was, I worked with her as one of her consultants, and I traveled a lot that job. I just, I traveled plenty for that job, and so I got to see new things. And when you travel as a consultant, you obviously made more money. And I was senior, so I was making pretty good money. No kids, nothing. So I was just making my money. I always wore the best clothes. I went to the hairdresser like the hairdresser would comb my hair every morning for me to go to work. That’s how extra it was, you know, but it’s, it’s it’s certainly always finding a way to get rid of the money based on our mindset and based on our belief system, the things that we believe about money will dictate what we do with that money, you know? And so if we grew up in a household where there is always some kind of contention around money, we tend to not want to hold on to money when we talk about money being evil, when we talk about rich people being evil, when we look at and we see rich people had to take advantage of the poor people to get rich. So when we have that particular type of mindset, we tend to really just, we get the money, but we don’t keep the money. We find a way to get rid of the money. And that’s not, that’s, I mean, that’s at every single level, every level the person who make 500,000 a year to the ones who make 30,000 a year, and it’s

Jamila Souffrant 13:23

so important to be self reflective and to sit and to do that work, that inner work, to even just acknowledge if that’s what’s happening for you and why you’re doing the things, I think the biggest inquiry and progress you want to see externally is that inner like, You know, I have a problem with discipline, but it’s not because I can’t do it. It’s because there are these things within me that are guiding or clouding, you know, the glasses I have on when I look at and I view the world and my money caused me to do these things. So you’re taking responsibility, but you are acknowledging perhaps, why you’re doing some of the things you’re doing, or you’re trying to figure that out. It’s such a big step. Out. It’s such a big step. So talk about you now. You’re making a lot of money and you’re so are you living in Trinidad or Belize, at this point,

Judy McCutcheon 14:10

as a consultant, I was living in Trinidad, and I didn’t really start to become self aware. The thing is, is that we we use something external, like buying shoes and clothes. I love shoes, buying shoes and clothes to fill an internal void. So I didn’t become, I really didn’t start to become self aware, and then I divorced and so on. And then I got married again and moved to Belize. And this time, I was still making a lot of money, but this time, you know, I didn’t have to I didn’t have to worry about bills being paid. And so my money was really just my money. I. And so again, it wasn’t I wasn’t thinking along the lines of saving, investing. I wasn’t thinking along those lines. I was just thinking along the lines of spending and getting more and getting more and getting more. But I’ll tell you what, though I have two girls, and my kids kind of change a little bit of things for me, it really, really did, but it wasn’t until I got really sick in 2010 that kind of put a little bit thing, not a little bit, but it put things into perspective for me. And I really started my reflection around that time, I really started thinking about me. Why am I here? What am I doing with myself? Because when it’s time for us to get to that point, we begin to get very restless on the inside, and some people call the feeling stuck. But it’s not stuck, it’s just you’re just restless. Your soul knows that there is just so much more for you, and the bigger you wants to express itself, right? And so I started feeling like that, really not knowing what to do, where to turn. And by that time, we moved to Grenada. And so I was unemployed because we will move to Grenada just as the 2010 just, you know, the height of the financial crisis. And so there was no work here. This, of course, obviously, this is a small island. And so I thought, What am I going to do? So I did another degree, because, like, what else am I going to do? I did another degree, but I still felt restless. And so one day I was on the internet, and I was just reading, and I came upon the secret that book, and I went on to Amazon, and I bought the book, I bought the journal, I bought the CD, I bought the whole thing. And that started my journey of self reflection and awareness. I really had to do some deep, serious work around my belief system, not just around money, but my belief system around myself in general. How did I see me? What did I think about me? What are the things that I’m telling myself about me? It was dark, and I know for sure why a lot of people don’t do this inner work. Because it is not easy work. It is hard work, but at the end of it is beautiful. Let me just jump back a little bit. When I lived in Belize, right? I worked for an insurance company. So first I worked as a financial accountant, and then I started working in insurance and as an insurance advisor, I have seen somebody. I mean, I’ve really seen some stuff. And so I had a friend who took some insurance with me, and then she called and canceled. It said, All right, no problem. And then her husband got sick and died, and he had some insurance, but his insurance and lapsed. But the good thing about that is that he kept paying, and the company kept taking his money. And so when he died, they had said to her, well, the only thing I could do is give you back what he had paid. And I said, No, that’s not fair. The fact that he kept paying meant that he had an expectation, right? And I really fought for it, and she got it. And what I realized that without that safety net, she and her daughter would have been out, you know? And so it, it really changed my mind a lot around insurance, the use of insurance, and why we need insurance, because for us, and I’m talking, I’m talking specifically now about people that look like me, we don’t believe in insurance. You. Talk to somebody who look like me, and they will tell you, insurance is a scam, and this and that and the other, and they always have somebody else’s story to tell you this person who whatever, whatever. But it is an essential path, part, sorry, of our wealth building process. It really is an essential part of that, and working in insurance really made me see that. And so when I moved to Grenada and there was nothing to do, I really started getting more and more into finances. I did a couple finance courses. I became a financial educational instructor. I did a behavioral finance course at Duke University because I really wanted to help, to really help people realize that, yes, you can make money, yes, you can keep spending, yes, you can save but let us look at how we can build true wealth,

Jamila Souffrant 21:09

right? It’s not about just earning money and having it cycle out of your household, but how do you preserve wealth? How do you build wealth? How do you have something so that your future self, and this is that to be so many decades later, but even just next year or two years has like, you know, you’re thinking ahead. You’re being proactive with your finances. Now I just, I want to you talked about having this shift about what you felt about yourself after you got the secret and you started doing some the real work. And I think that’s the second time in this story, or in our conversation so far that you said you started you had to self reflect. The first want time seemed like you got sick, and it forced you to self reflect. And the second time in this story so far is you moving to Grenada and kind of being so restless. And I feel like that feeling of restlessness or being sick in an external event, like there’s these things that we can no longer ignore that happen to us, where most of us can, like, chug along and be uncomfortable for, you know, and just ignore. Push it to the side. It’s almost like my closet upstairs. It’s a hot mess, you know, I’m gonna keep pushing it to this, you know, close the closet. I don’t gotta think about it. I can move on, but at some point it’s going to bother me enough, where it’s going to be get unwieldy and out of control, where I have to do something about it. And I think so for so many people, those events, these events, have to happen first before we make significant or the change we want to see. But what did you begin to change about yourself and think? How did you start to think differently? So that puts you on the path to the next step that you took that maybe put you where you are today. So what was that switch from I thought about this, I did this, versus now, I think like this, and I do this

Judy McCutcheon 22:49

right? So it started with the secret. But what really, really helped me through is within the secret, and if people really read it. She gave other resources, and one of the resources in that book is a book called the masterpiece system. And the Master Key System was written in like 1939 or 1930 or something like that. And it’s 24 lessons that really talks about your thought process, you know, and how your thoughts create your reality. And that really resonated with me, because, you know, if I were to look at my life at that time, I would think the life I had then and the thoughts that I had, they were in perfect sync with each other, and so that really resonated with me. And so I did those lessons, and it’s amazing. One of the lessons is I had to sit down and just watch the thoughts, not interact with my thoughts, not do anything with it. I think like, how what am I supposed to do? Like, how do I not interact? First of all, I was thinking like, What do you mean interact with my thoughts? I don’t know. I don’t interact with my thoughts, but we do. And it was amazing sitting there for 30 minutes and noticing the things that I was thinking, the things that I thought about myself, you know, I couldn’t do things like I couldn’t stand in the mirror and say, I love you, because I really didn’t, you know, I found every single fault with myself, every every single thing was wrong with me, everything I was fat, I was short, I was ugly, I was I mean, every single thing was wrong with me, and that is because deep. Within, I really had zero love for myself. But one of the things in all my reflection, one of the things I remember, is that when I was growing up, right, I’ve never heard anybody say to me, I love you. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and so that was just like a foreign concept. You know, you get married, you think you love the person, but you really don’t. Because, do you really know what love is like? Do you truly, truly know? Because if you don’t love you, and this, I have come to this conclusion, I don’t think there’s anything right now that could change my mind if I don’t love me, I do not have the capacity to love you. I have to love me first. I have to see me first before I could truly see you. And so that book really helped me. And then I had a coach, and that coach took me up to a point, and then I did next degree. But this time I did a degree in psychology, because by the time I’m realizing, okay, I really do need to get into this whole people thing to understand, because now I’m getting excited about people and why people think and behave the way they do, and is there something that I can do to help? And so I did a degree in psychology, and then I did some trauma, informed coaching. I became certified, and then so the more I found out about myself, the more I started feeling really, really good about myself, the more I started loving who I am. There’s nobody in this world right now who could tell me I’m not the prettiest person in the world. Nobody. I truly love me with everything that I have, I love me. But getting here being able to stand in front of the mirror and say, I love you so much. Has not been easy, simply because we I did not have an example when I was growing up, and then I had serious daddy issues. My daddy issues were a lot because I know who my father was. You know, he would come to the house. We would go to his house, but that was it. He was, he was so unavailable, like now, I know what it is right now. I know that he was emotionally unavailable. And then as I talked more and more with one of my sisters, you know, we were saying, I was saying to her that I feel so sorry for my dad, because I could just imagine things that he didn’t have and he wasn’t able to reflect and become aware so that he could become better. And so I didn’t speak to my father for like, about 15 years. I was one angry chick. Oh, I was, I was, I was a terrible I was angry, really angry. And so I didn’t speak to my father for, like, about 15 years. And then a friend said to me one day, he said, Judy, you know, like, how long are you going to carry this on for how long are you going to just do this thing? I mean, like, don’t you want to make some peace at some point with your dad? And I thought, Well, maybe not. Maybe I can. I didn’t even have his number. I had to call my sister. So I called my sister, and I said, Can I have daddy’s number? And I called him, and we chatted some conversations you still don’t have, and now I was in the particular place where I know that he is not in that particular place to have certain conversations, so I wasn’t going to have those conversations, because it will end nowhere. So we chatted, and then, you know, when I would go back home, I would go and look for him, you know, go and look for then he got sick, and then I would keep going to look for him, until he passed, for me, I’ve had to do a lot of forgiving plenty. I had to forgive myself. I had to forgive all the people that I thought real or imagine who you know, is. Some way or the other would have hurt me. And one of the things, and I’m going to bring this back to Money and abundance, right, one of the things that really helps us in whether we looking to move up in our whatever we’re looking to do in life. One of the things that I this is this is a belief that I have, is that we have to learn to let go. We cannot hold on to all the hood, all the pain, all the hatred and expect that abundance will find us. It will not, it won’t

Jamila Souffrant 30:50

I. Jamila here, host of this podcast and author of the book, your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness. Just a few years ago, I was in a job I didn’t like, with a long commute, feeling stuck. I knew there had to be a different, better way. Then I found the pathway to financial freedom and financial independence. Today, I have more money options and freedom than I ever thought was possible. And in my book, Your journey to financial freedom, I’ll show you how you can achieve that too. You’ll learn how to spend and save responsibly, all while enjoying that spicy Margarita and exercise of guacamole, determine where you are on the journey and evaluate your spending and saving goals accordingly, quit your job, retire early or reach financial independence. My Book your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness is out now and available on Amazon bookshop.org, Barnes and Noble and more. You can leave and listen to the audiobook, narrated by me. Go to your journey to financial freedom.com. To get a free bonus when you order the book and see all the places to buy it once again, go to your journey to financial freedom.com. I’m sitting here and loving this, like, this vulnerability, this talk, because it’s, there’s so much of what you’re saying that I can relate to also, and see and sometimes it’s, you know, when I talk, tell people about like, journey to launch and the platform, and why I started this, and why what I want for other people is what they want for themselves too, is just to reach this idea of having an abundant life, not only in like whatever that money looks like for you, but in your time and your energy, like having options and being happy with wherever you are and making things work for yourself, right? And then realizing that there’s so much of that starts like from within, and starts from a place of our relationships with whether it’s our fathers, the lack of relationships, our siblings, our mother, just there’s so many relationships and feelings. And like you talked about, never heard that someone loved you. And so it was hard to really understand what love was, and how, on the surface someone could be like, well, you know, what does that have to do with career and money and, like, living like a good life? And I think for some people, they can kind of power through and just put a band aid on something and ignore it and kind of still make it. You know, from the outside it might look like, look like they’re doing well, just like for you, like you were still making money, still doing well. There are people who I know, who still managed to make it work, but when you can really reach in and what I call like tethers, so like letting go of maybe the feelings and the hurt and pain, or accepting certain things about yourself and coming to terms with all the things you need to come to terms with. You feel lighter and you it’s a difference in how you show up in the world. And it’s not always, you know, something that can be measured, but it’s like just something in you. And then, I’m not saying that it happens all the time or right away, but things begin to happen more for you. You begin to show up differently. Your life begins to change you. You know you’re you’re able to have the confidence to raise your hand in that meeting, or to go ask for the raise, or, you know you have an interest in something like maybe getting a certificate outside of your job to say, okay, maybe I can start this business on the side, but you have the confidence to try and so there’s all these intangible things that we need to do to make the tangible happen. And so I love, like, this arc of your story, talking about you realizing this, because I know, and you know, I do want you to share what happens next for you, and eventually you now creating the company and brand that you have, because none of that would have been possible without going through all of this and to you know the personal things you gotta do in your life to attain the success, whatever career wise or financially that you have now,

Judy McCutcheon 34:49

you know success, however it looks for you, is an inside job. It really is, because it has to you. It must come from the in. Side for you to realize it on the outside, right? And so when you look at, when you look at, I know some of the richest people, they just simply believe in themselves, right? And I’m not talking about the ones who were born into that. I’m talking about the ones who would have had to build it right, they would have had to have done some inner work, because it’s a scary thing. It’s a scary thing. And so healing is my I want to say it has been my nirvana. It really has helped me to push past because when you don’t deal with certain things, you don’t deal with certain fears, when you don’t believe in yourself, when you don’t believe in your abilities. And let me tell you, we are some of the smartest people in the room, but that self belief. If we don’t have it, we never gonna raise our hands, we won’t voice our opinions, because we are afraid of being shut down. So it’s really about to get from point A to D. There’s B and C in between, and that B and C really is where you spend a lot of your time, healing, becoming self aware. And I say to people, become curious about who you are. Just become curious about you. So one of the things that I do a lot is if I’m in traffic and somebody cut me off or do something and I get angry, I ask myself, why are you angry? Because that person really, truly did not do you anything. But so what is the underlying reason for that anger or that anxiousness, or whatever feeling that you’re feeling, become curious, and then you would realize that it’s some of the things that you need to unravel, right? So we have to start a dismantle and unravel the some of our belief systems, the the beliefs that we grew up with that many of us have not questioned. And I mean, like, if you grew up in the Caribbean, you grew up in church period analytics, that’s it, that’s That’s it, one church or the other, you grew up in church. And we have these beliefs, and we never question them. And so we live our lives, I believe limited in some ways, because we don’t question is this really right? Our money believes a form by the time we age 10, right? So if we keep the that 10 year old money beliefs, and we’re now 40, you see what’s happening. So we need to start to question those beliefs. Why? Why is this? Why do I think like this? Why do I do things like this is is there a different way to do it? Is insurance really that bad? What can I do to create wealth in my family? What can I do so that my children can have a better life than I did? How can I help to create a legacy all the way down for my lineage. How can I do that? We don’t we don’t question a lot of us. We wake up, we go to work, we come back home, we do the same thing every day, every day, every day, every day. It becomes routine and monotonous. We don’t really use our real thought capacity to affect our reality. And if a lot of us were to really think about the type of life that we want to create and really become curious and do some inner work, some some of us may have to go to therapy, some of us may have to have a coach. A lot of it, I started doing myself, because at that time I was unemployed, I started doing a lot of reading. I read a lot of books. I implemented some of the things in the book, and realized, okay, this works. What can I What more can I do? And so, because what I implemented worked, I kept going further and further and further. You know, you get to the point where you feel okay. What now? What is my purpose? How can I then? Know, impact humanity. How can I do my part to help people? And so I was working. I was working. I was actually a general, the general manager for a insurance company. And I realized that our values were a little bit different, my values and theirs. And that’s our next thing, right? I have boundaries. I have I have serious boundaries and values. I am guided by my values. And so that’s the next thing that we need to understand, that you need to have boundaries. A lot of us, oh, boundaries are so porous that they’re non existent. I have very serious boundaries. My values are not compromising at all. And so when I realized that we were off, I came home on Friday night, eight o’clock and sending my resignation. I’m like, I had no job. I had no more I didn’t have anything lined up. I just knew that this wouldn’t work for me anymore. And then I thought, when I looked at the amount of growth I helped that company to achieve, I thought, I’m not going to work for anybody else. I’m not going to look for another job. I’m going to try to do my own thing. And so I formed the consulting company. Had zero clients, zero but every day, I would get up and do work. What

Jamila Souffrant 41:44

was a consulting company doing? What was the purpose of it? It’s

Judy McCutcheon 41:48

a it’s a management consulting we do, which I still have it. So we do a lot of strategic plans, a lot of training and development for organizations. So I would get up every day and I would write all these programs. I create my own courses. I had no client zero, but I got up every day, and I sat at my computer and I worked until I got my first client right, and I kept going. And then I thought, what else can I do? Because I realized that learning and development in our region, it was just everybody doing the same thing over and over, and I’m thinking like, No, we could do we could do better. Because I know that we’re brilliant people. I know that we have brilliant people doing amazing things. There’s a gap. How can I bridge that gap? And so I attended a conference one me and I thought, This is ridiculous. This is how they see us. This is how they see this is ridiculous. And so the idea for the disruptive Leadership Conference was born, and that was 2019, and within a couple of months, I put that conference together reach out to a couple people to facilitate. Like I say, we really have amazing we have amazing people. So the model I use is I use CEOs, Managing Director, CEOs, as the facilitators, people who are doing amazing in their space, and who we can learn from. So I wasn’t looking for theorist, because if you’re not a practitioner, you could only give me theory, right? I want to know that you failed and what you’ve done to make it again. And so that’s the model that we use. And I was, you know, and the first one was right here in Grenada. It was well attended. I had people from Belize, Trinidad and Tobago and Jamaica attending, as well as, of course, people from Grenada. And then when COVID hit. We went online. Last year. We went to Trinidad and, well, this year we decided, you know, to get people from across the region to come. Miami is an easier hub, a much easier hub for us. And I’m going

Jamila Souffrant 44:38

to have you just like, talk a bit about who was your conference, and if anyone’s listening that wants to attend, but I want to bring up some points that kind of connect here. So you said you started to work without any clients, and you so that’s one, but you worked. But that work, you would not have done that work or kept going until you got a client if there was, if not for that belief in yourself. So that’s where. Now it all comes back to the confidence where that’s what that’s what’s so important, because it’s and in my opinion, you can believe in yourself and still have doubts. You can believe in you can have self doubt moments and lack confidence in certain areas, but still, no matter what, know that stuff, it’s going to work out for you. But that’s why this inner work is so important, because without that, you wouldn’t have sat at the computer to do any work, because, you know, you would have wanted to see the proof and the clients first, before just believing in yourself, the thing you could control, and doing the work, and then getting clients. And the same thing with the conference, having the just confidence to go to somewhere else and say, You know what, that they’re not doing it the way. I think it can be done. I think this can be done better, and I think I can do it like that. That to me, that boldness, that reclaiming of the power, is like something anyone can do. It’s what I did when I was listening to podcasts, reading blogs about people on their financial journey, and I said to myself, I can do what they’re doing. I could do my own version. That’s better, because it’s coming from me and my voice, than expand it to what it is now. And so I’m just encouraging you people listening, journeyers, that there’s an idea or thought like believe that you can also do it too, that belief, though, is the most important, because without that, you won’t start. I want to talk though. I want you to be able to explain a little bit about the conference itself, like who should attend and when it’s coming up, and where people can find more about it. The

Judy McCutcheon 46:28

conference is going to be in Miami, and we’re going to make Miami’s home. Now, that’s some next thing. I don’t know anybody in Miami. I don’t know it’s only Miami, but I just know that I want people from across the region. I want Caribbean, people who live in the diaspora to experience this. And so I just say, Okay, let’s do Miami. And so it’s in March of 2025 it’s March 12 to 14th, and it’s going to be at the Sheraton Miami Airport Hotel and Executive Meeting Center. Our website is disruptive Leadership Conference, com, and all the information is on that website. You know, we have corporate rates. We even have a bestie rate so you and your best friend could come. We even have payment plans because we’re trying to make it as accommodating as you know, for as many people to come as possible.

Jamila Souffrant 47:30

And these are people who want to attend, who want to become leaders and learn how to navigate the corporate world.

Judy McCutcheon 47:37

Yes, yes, definitely. So it is for current as well as aspiring leaders, because leadership is dynamic. It’s very dynamic. And so it changes every day. There’s something new happening from the leadership space. And if we were to look like this next year’s, next year’s conference, the theme is the future of leadership opportunities, risk, rewards. What are the opportunities that will that will happen in the future? What are the risks that we can look at and what are the rewards that we can hope to reap from doing leadership differently? You know, we have to, we have to think outside of what we know traditionally to make things work. Because for one thing is that we have the generation now is different. They’re different. They’re very different. And so they’re not going to walk into your door and walk out 30 years later. That’s not going to happen. They’re not, they’re not looking for that, especially when

Jamila Souffrant 48:54

they’re listening to this podcast. They’re like, Okay, I’ll try to I want more choices and options. Yes.

Judy McCutcheon 48:59

And so as leaders, we have to learn to meet them where they’re at. We have to learn to adapt. And so this conference is really about helping you to be future forward. So when things come, you’re not taken by surprise. You don’t know what to do. You don’t know so you know if you’re aspiring leader, if you’re a current leader, if you in a position and you want to look for a promotion, you want to try and negotiate a raise, this is the conference to come to, because we talk about all kinds of stuff and the networking, the networking is amazing. Since this conference started, I can tell you, facilitators have gotten loads and loads of jobs. People who attend have been offered positions from different people that they have met. So it really is. Something tangible. I want to create something where you don’t just come to a conference, collect a bunch of business cards, and then you throw them away, and then you come back the next day and you collect some more. That’s not what I’m after. What I’m after is true, real connections and tangible, tangible things for people to go with. So you could meet this one and they could you could get a job. Facilitators. Could get work from different companies. And this year, we’re creating a marketplace so we’d have people small businesses can come and people in the conference goodbye from them and different things. And it really is about creating a space where we can all grow. That is part of the legacy I want to leave right, really helping us to grow, develop from every, every, every possible angle that we can grow and develop from. Oh,

Jamila Souffrant 51:09

it sounds like an amazing opportunity. So we will link all of that in the show notes the conference site. Is there anywhere else you want to direct people to if they want to learn more about you and your work? Before we go?

Judy McCutcheon 51:20

Um, the website, the company’s website is Go Blue consulting.com, and so there you have loads of stuff. I have a This isn’t something that I talk about, because it tell it to sometimes you have to work in silence. But I have a book that’s due out in in 2025 the book has been written by Forbes. And let me tell you, I just really want to see here that opportunities will come that will seem too big and you won’t take it, because in 2021 Forbes reached out to me. And this is after I have been doing plenty work, right? Plenty, plenty inner work. Forbes reach out to me in 2021 and wanted to do a book, and I met with them, and then I said no, because, like Forbes, me no. And then last year they reached out again, but this time, I was in a totally different space, and I was ready so become away and look for those opportunities. And when they come, don’t sell them on the way, because I think opportunities they come and then they come back again, and they will come back again, but if you keep sending them away, they will just eventually go away. You know, it’s like saying, I don’t love money, but I want money. Oh my gosh, yes. You treat money like an enemy, but you expect it to come and stay, you know,

Jamila Souffrant 53:05

yes, oh my gosh. Judy, this was amazing. Congrats on the book. I can’t wait to see that next year also, but I will link all the websites in the show notes for everyone to go check out. But thank you so much again for coming on the show. Thank

Judy McCutcheon 53:16

you so much for having me. I truly enjoy this conversation, because, you know, every time people want to talk about money, but I love talking about money, but from not just dollars and cents, but really from the part of it that that truly affects our money earning ability.

Jamila Souffrant 53:33

Yes, don’t forget, you can get the episode show notes for this episode by going to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you’re listening to this, and you can still grab your jumpstart guide for free to help you on your journey to financial freedom by going to journey to launch.com/jumpstart

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Episode 400: Building Wealth Through Healing, Self Love and Breaking Cycles with Judy McCutcheon
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Australia’s Victoria coast along the Great Ocean Road is advertised as one of the world’s most scenic drives. Instead, we found fierce winds, ship-devouring waves, and a hefty dose of humility.  This is part 2 in a series. Read part 1 here. Listen to the Podcast My wife and I stood at the edge of …

The post Under Gray Skies on a Shipwrecked Coast appeared first on CLIPPING CHAINS.

Are you amazing at keeping everything running smoothly but finding it hard to feel truly happy? If you’re a mom who’s juggling endless to-do lists, managing every detail, and still feeling like joy is just out of reach, this episode is for you.

Join me as we dive into why high-achieving moms often feel stuck between perfection and happiness. We’ll explore the unspoken costs of perfectionism, the expectations that keep us trapped, and how to shift from doing it all to actually enjoying it all.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why perfectionism can actually drain your happiness and self-worth
  • The impact that striving for “perfect” has on your energy, relationships, and sense of self
  • Practical steps to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and find joy in the imperfect moments

If you’re ready to feel a little lighter, let something go, and create more peace (even if things aren’t perfect), tune in! Let’s redefine what it means to be a happy, fulfilled mom.

If you’re a mom, you’re in the right place. This is a space designed to help you overcome challenges and live your best life. I’d love for you to join me inside the Mom On Purpose Membership where we take this work to the next level.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Show Resources

Full Episode Transcript:


Welcome to Mom On Purpose, where it’s all about helping moms overcome challenges and live their best lives. My hope is by being here, you are more inspired to become the mom you are made to be. I’m Natalie, your host, a wife, boy, mom, dog, mama, Chicagoan, and former lawyer turned professionally certified coach. If you’re here to grow, I can help. Let’s go.

Hello my beautiful friends. Welcome to the podcast. Today we are talking about the high achieving mom dilemma, at least that’s what I’m calling it. And I want to start off by asking you a question. Are you good at being perfect and bad at being happy?This is what I think is at the crux of the high achieving moms dilemma. At least it has been for myself and for so many of my clients and just people in this community. And what I mean by this is that you know how to make sure your kids are on time, you know how to clean your home, you know how to host birthday parties and register for all of the activities. You know how to make dinners and accommodate all these specific requests your kids have. You’re mostly organized and you know how to coordinate the family calendar. You volunteer at school events, you keep up with emails and homework assignments. You manage doctor’s appointments, you plan family vacations and weekend activities. You swap out all of the clothes for the next size in a timely matter with a specific system that keeps all of the clothes organized.

You remember birthdays, anniversaries and important dates. You prepare healthy snacks and meals that everyone will actually eat. You keep up with your own work demands and deadlines and kind of career goals if you work outside the home as well. You prepare for holidays with thoughtful gifts and family vacations. You offer emotional support to everyone when they’re having a rough day. Does this sound like you my friend? I want to speak specifically to the person who really knows how to do it all. And yet you don’t know how to play, you don’t know how to rest, you don’t know how to relax, you struggle to just take it easy and lighten up. Little side note, there is a class inside the Mom On Purpose Membership called How to Lighten Up. And it is one of our most popular classes and I think it’s because so many women inside this community know how to do all of the things and get things done except for when it comes to their own happiness.

So do you know how to feel delighted at all? Do you know how to lighten up? Do you know how to set aside time just for yourself without guilt? Typically, I see this being the high achieving mom’s dilemma. At least I know it was for me and I know I continue to coach on it. So I really wanted to do an episode where we talked about it because I think that some of the things you’re likely to struggle with that I haven’t even mentioned yet are being fully present without thinking about the next task and letting things just be good enough instead of having to have them be perfect. Embracing your circumstances when they don’t always go as planned. So when you’re forced to be off schedule, like how do you feel when that happens? Are you able to feel peace when things aren’t perfectly in order?

Are you able to prioritize fun over productivity? Can you reconnect with what brings you joy outside of serving your family and your kids? Do you know how to celebrate small wins without moving on to the next goal and just be still and easygoing and savor those quiet moments without needing to fill the space? I think that this is like the yin and the yang and really what I think I see most of out there in terms of content and experts and coaches and just people kind of talking about any of this is like they’re either one or the other. They’re either advocating for more productivity, more getting things done, better habits, waking up earlier, better to-do list better planning, how you can produce more and kind of be that high achiever set big goals, right? That’s one side of what I see. Then the other side of what I see is sort of the opposite of that.

How to relax, how to play more, how to be more calm, how to let things be, how to just be happy. And what I think is that it’s not either or, it’s and both. So I really want to be a space where you can come as a woman who wants to grow and set big goals and get more done and who knows how to let it go and just be happy. It’s not one or the other. So wherever you are on the spectrum, you might need to expand your capacity for the other area. So you know, the way that I titled this podcast is Perfectly Unhappy- The High Achieving Mom Dilemma. So you know how to be perfect, but you don’t know how to be happy. And who I’m speaking to is who I was, which was someone who knew how to get things done, knew how to be a high achiever, knew how to excel and set goals and kind of accomplish all the things but didn’t know how to be happy and be calm and relax.

And now it’s not that the part of me that produces and sets goals is gone, it’s again more of a spectrum, more of a dial that I can tap into, turn up or down depending on what energy I want to be in, depending on whether I’m focusing on getting more things done, my to-do list, my calendar, all of the logistics of my life or whether I am wanting to play and to relax and to be at ease. Because I think that if you are so one sided in either way, you can end up not fully living the life that you truly desire. So too much rest isn’t a good thing. Now, in our modern motherhood, in our day-to-day life, rarely are we complaining about too much rest. But if you all remember the pandemic and quarantine, we all thought that we wanted a chance to be at home more.

And when we got it, it sort of made us stir crazy. And I think that’s just helpful to remember because it’s not that we need to go to either end of the spectrum where we’re always doing, trying to earn our worth through our productivity or where we’re doing nothing and just sitting around and everything is slow all of the time. And so that’s why I think that this is a dilemma because the path of least resistance is the path that you’re already on. That’s from Abraham Hicks. So what that means is if you are in that doer, go, go, go high productivity, high achieving mom energy, that’s the energy. It’s going to be easiest to stay in even at your own expense even when you feel overwhelmed, even when you feel tired because your brain and body have memorized those patterns. Conversely, if you are someone who is on the opposite end of the spectrum, then you are also going to be more comfortable staying in that slowness.

And that’s why I think it’s a dilemma because it’s requiring so much more intentionality from you to shift into different types of energy depending on which you want to be in. That’s why I love planning so much because you can literally, and this is what I teach, plan your white space, plan your downtime, plan your self care. I like to say if you want to give a high achieving woman a goal, tell her to take a nap in the middle of a Monday, right? She knows how to get things done, I’m talking to you, you know how to get things done. But if I just said, Hey, this Monday take a nap at noon, that would be very challenging, most likely. And I just want to speak to my own transformation because oh my goodness, this has just been such a gift that I’ve given to myself and having three babies in three year, has been so helpful when it’s chaos, when my kids get sick, when things don’t go according to plan, when it’s all just a mess, it’s so much easier now for me to get into that playfulness, that relaxing, that take it easy energy, that lighten up energy.

And I say this because there was a time where that was something I truly just did not believe was possible for me. I didn’t think being so type A being so high, achieving being so in my alpha female energy that I could be someone who knew how to relax and let the laundry sit. And so if you are like I was, I want you to know that no matter how you grew up, no matter if you’re the firstborn, no matter if everyone your whole life has been telling you that you are the one in charge, you are the responsible one, you are the one who gets it done, you can shift to expand your capacity, to let things go, to feel softer and slower and to also have more fun and play and rest and relaxation so that you enjoy your life. You know what I’m talking about, right? When you’re so good at getting things done and you’re like, yeah, but I’m not even enjoying this. That’s what I want to speak to. Do you know how to be perfect? And do you know how to be happy? My hunch is, you know how to be perfect in quotes, of course here, but you don’t know how to be happy.

You know how to be fast, but do you know how to be slow? You know how to get things done, you know how to do that laundry and make sure that everyone has what they need. But do you know how to just let the laundry sit? Do you know how to just not let things be such a big deal and lighten up? Do you know how to just feel an extraordinary amount of joy for no reason? This is what I’m talking about. This is letting go of perfectionism. And if you just ask yourself why do we feel this deep drive to have everything be perfect? I think that perfectionism can feel like a standard that you just think you have to meet. Whether it’s because of societal expectations or your own inner voice or just feeling like others are watching and judging and you are watching and judging, whatever the reason is. I want you to know that it is totally normal to have this compulsion to want to do more and make everything better and perfect. If you are a high achiever, you’ve probably spent most of your life receiving praise and validation for getting things done, for helping others for doing more.

The problem with that is that when you rest, when you play, when you take it easy, when you let the laundry sit, no one is giving you that praise. And so there’s this kind of subtle disapproval of those things that you’re telling yourself like, I’m not good enough if I let the laundry sit because people aren’t telling me, telling me I’m good enough. And when your worth gets tied to how much you get done, when it gets tied to the house being perfect, the kids, um, you know, being perfect and getting good grades, whatever it is, it is impossible to keep up with. And it’s not surprising then why you might feel uneasy or guilty when you’re not productive, when you let that laundry sit, when you just relax for yourself, for your family and embrace the slow. And it’s hard and it’s easy, right? Like doing nothing is easier than doing something. But if you’re used to always doing something than doing nothing is actually harder.

So I have talked a lot about 10 minutes of silence and how I teach and coach on this in the membership. And it is not uncommon to have a Mom On Purpose member say to me, the first few weeks I started doing it, I was so fidgety and antsy and I really didn’t like it. And that is because the brain and body have not gotten into a habit yet of being slow and being still. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, you’re actually doing something right if it feels hard. But eventually you can learn to relax and be at peace with just doing nothing. And that’s where you can really tap into how you want to feel and learn how to feel joy, delight, happiness, playfulness, ease and flow for no reason at all. I think we all do know how to feel it in those really big moments.

Like you get married, you have a baby, you buy a house, you get a new car, I don’t know, fill in the blank with whatever it is that is like a big thing for you. It might be an achievement or a career move or something like that, but those things aren’t even happening annually. And so the work is to take a look at what is happening daily that you can celebrate just because you want to. You want to delight in your life. If you have this drive to always get things done and never stop and to make things perfect so that you can feel good enough about yourself, it will come at a cost. You will feel burned out and emotionally exhausted because of the pressure you are putting on yourself. That stems from that mindset that I love to reiterate, which is you think it’s your job to do everything for everyone always.

And that puts this constant pressure on you and doesn’t leave any room for you to be happy, to enjoy your life, to have fun, to just smile and laugh and lighten up. And as you already know, it can negatively impact your relationships too. I know it did for me. It really kept me focused so much on career and on doing way more than I wanted to be and how that manifests now even though I have pretty strict working hours for myself so that I can be the primary caretaker for my kids, it still comes up when I am doing household things and the logistics and all of the things that are required of me that I love to do, but that can easily shift me into that go, go, go doer more masculine energy. And so I have to be mindful of that even when I’m with my kids because as you all know, there’s lots to do and that is a good thing.

I want you to know that we want to be invited, we want to to have homes, we want to have opportunities. It’s our job to manage our minds and change our mindsets so that we can feel as good on the inside as we are trying to make our lives look on the outside. That is truly the work because otherwise you’re not going to feel fully connected to yourself nor to your kids, to your spouse. You are going to be so in overdrive thinking about what you need to get done that you don’t even notice how disconnecting it is in your relationships. And eventually you will notice that you can’t keep up and you’ve spent so much energy trying to keep up that you don’t even remember the last time you really felt free and relaxed and just joyful for no reason.

I have many, many clients who do this work with me inside the Mom On Purpose Membership. And when they finally pause, they will say, I have no idea what I even like anymore or what brings me joy. And I just want to say that if you can relate to that, that is totally normal. Nothing wrong here at all. It’s just that you haven’t given this part of yourself any attention for so long that you sort of need to warm it back up and bring it back to life. But before we dive into how you can do that, that’s not even the first step. The first step is shifting your mindset. ’cause you want to work on your mindset first, then your actions. If you keep the mindset, it’s my job to do everything for everyone always. And you keep the mindset that you’re only a good woman, wife and mom, if you get more done, then there’s no amount of doing that will work because you will self-sabotage to live into the identity that your job is to take care of everything all of the time.

And so that’s the work. The work is to reframe happiness and success. The work is to drop that mindset. It’s not your job to do everything for everyone always. And just imagine what if success didn’t mean perfect dinners. It didn’t mean a spotless home, or never missing an appointment. You can redefine success proactively so that it includes some of the things you do want to get done. But I don’t think you have a problem with that. What I want you to add in is that success also means moments of connection, moments of peace, moments of doing nothing, moments of laughter, moments of just self validation and self-acceptance and appreciation. You won’t get the validation externally that you’re looking for from this, but if you proactively decide what success means to you, then you can validate yourself. And I promise you it’s worth it because then you stop trying to outrun yourself.

You stop tying your worth to productivity. You don’t think you have to earn your rest. You start telling yourself, great job. Me, I had moments of play and happiness today. Great job. Me, I had moments of connection and laughter. Great job, me, I let the laundry sit. I have gotten so good at this that I continue to tell myself how proud I am for that because I never in a million years would have thought that was possible for me. But if I didn’t do the mindset work first, it never would have been possible because I would’ve thought, no, the laundry just needs to get done. So I’m the one who has to do it, but because I have decided to think it’s okay to let the laundry sit, if it means that I get to rest and play more, then I genuinely do that because it comes from a completely different mindset. So just ask yourself, what if you didn’t have to earn your worth through getting things done?

Your true value isn’t found in how much you get done, but it is found in who you are. You are good inside and you are also imperfect, messy and a dynamic human. And that’s who we all are. So we don’t have to perform to earn our internal goodness. Letting things be, letting things just be good enough. Letting things be undone isn’t failing. It’s freeing. Let me repeat that, it’s a good one. Okay? Letting things be, letting things be good enough, letting things be undone isn’t failing, it’s freeing, okay? Now, once you have shifted your mindset, I is going to so much easier to take action from there because you’ll have your kind of inner self-talk on board. You won’t have to be kinda fighting against yourself using willpower. You’ve worked on your thoughts and your feelings so that you know, even if it’s challenging to take different actions, or in this case maybe inactions, you’ll still do it because it’s important to you and you understand your why.

Now I want to share with you a few practical tips that you can implement after you’ve worked on your mindset. Number one is to sit in 10 minutes of silence every day. Number two is to give yourself permission to pause. So this week, pick a moment to just be without needing to do. I like to say I’m a human being, not a human doing. Maybe it’s when you first have your morning coffee, maybe you’re sitting with your kids, maybe you are simply getting ready for bed. It doesn’t have to be big or drastic. It’s just a moment where you reconnect with yourself and you’re very inwardly focused on you. I do these moments all of the time and I cannot tell you how freeing it is to my nervous system and just how reconnecting it is with myself. And I end up being such a better wife and a better mom and I’m just in a better mood because I’m taking care of myself.

I’m taking breaths. I’m slowing down that nervous system to that place of safety where I’m not in that crazy activated energy. Definitely recommend this one. Number three is to start noticing small little joys every single day, at least once a day and increase your capacity to feel joy, to feel happiness, to feel delight. Not because you got something done, just because that’s what you want to feel. Did you know that you could just feel happy for no reason when your house is in chaos? I promise you this will change your life. Number four, use your strengths to your advantage. So if you love a to-do list, if you love to calendar, then put these items on your to-do list or on your calendar so that you can check them off so that you feel validated and like you accomplish something, even though the thing that you’re accomplishing is more rest, more play.
That is productivity that is useful. So you might put on your to-do list 10 minutes of silence or notice one small joy or pause three times today. Or you might put that on your calendar. Just think about your strengths. If you really like the to-do list, if you really like the calendar, if you have a system that you like, use it to your advantage where you are putting in those systems. Something that helps you get into that more feminine flow energy, where you take it easy, where you start to work on and actually prioritize yourself and your happiness and your calm and your peace and your lightning up.

Finally, embrace imperfect moments of connection. I was coaching a Mom On Purpose member recently about how connection is about authenticity. It’s not about your kids are happy. So when she’s showing up with her kids during meltdowns, those are moments of connection when she can show up calmly, authentically, and you know, sometimes hold boundaries when needed. But validate and respect, those are imperfect moments in the day with our families, with our kids that I think deserve acknowledgement. And it was just such a game changing mindset for her because she was thinking of those moments as disconnection. But I want to offer to you, when you think about your most fulfilling relationships, your most connected relationships, it’s not because you both are like beaming with excitement and happiness and joy all of the time. Yes, that’s part of it. Hopefully there’s a lot of play and laughter and, and fun and your relationships.

And also it’s that person you call when things are tough, when you know you need a good cry. When you really are needing someone to listen those calls, those coffee dates, those conversations, we often leave thinking, gosh, I’m so thankful for that person. I feel so connected to that person. That was really helpful. And I love thinking of that mindset and applying it to kids because then we see, oh yeah, me just being there for my kids during their hard times. That is connection. My dad was really good at this, really good at the like, sit, don’t solve. He wouldn’t try to solve my problems for me. He would just listen and kind of ask me questions. And reflecting back. Now thinking about that, I see it was that presence, that holding space for me that felt so connecting. And so I bring that up here, in a podcast about how to kind of get into your femininity and relax and be more playful and easygoing because it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re just going to do nothing all of the time.
It means that you are embracing the imperfections that come with life and celebrating that. Because I do think that a huge part of why we’re so good at getting things done, is because everyone else has been validating that part of us for so long. And so if we can learn how to validate ourselves for the other side of the coin, we will become a lot more successful at it. All right, my friends, I want to leave you with the final question that I started this episode with, which is, are you good at being perfect and bad at being happy? And if so, it is your responsibility to work on it for your sake. It will have a compound effect, it will have a ripple effect into your home, into your relationships with your kids and your spouse and your extended family and everyone in your life.

Yes, it will. But the real best reason to work on this is for your own sake. So I invite you to continue to do this work on letting things go on dropping the perfectionism and giving yourself permission to take it easy to rest, to added more play, and to get really good at being happy. I will talk with you next week, my friend. Take care.

Thank you for being here and listening. Now, head on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching to learn more about the Mom On Purpose Membership, where we take all of this work to the next level.

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The post Perfectly Unhappy: The High Achieving Mom Dilemma appeared first on Mom On Purpose.

Do you dread sales conversations? Do you worry about coming across as pushy or manipulative when trying to sell your products or services? Thoughts like this can keep you stuck. But what if I told you that selling can actually be a sacred act of service?

Get ready to fall in love with selling as you learn how to listen deeply to your potential clients, present your offers as the perfect solution to their problems, and close sales with ease. These mindset shifts, along with one extra practical tip I share at the end of today’s episode, will help you become a master at sales conversations.

Tune in this week as I share three simple (but not always easy) mindset shifts that can transform the way you approach sales in your business. By adopting these new perspectives, you’ll be able to sell with confidence and integrity, knowing that you’re truly helping your ideal clients get the results they desire.

Have you heard about the 5-Figure Coach Accelerator? This is a three-month business coaching program for new coaches who aren’t consistently making five figures yet in their coaching business. The goal here is to grow your business and get some traction, so you can start seeing real cashflow. Click here to get involved!

If you want to make six or multiple six figures in the coming year, my group coaching program Wired for Wealth is just for you. This is my lifetime-access coaching program designed for coaches, creatives, and service providers who want to create consistent high-income months with a small audience. Wired for Wealth opens for enrollment this fall. Subscribe to my newsletter to be the first to know when you can enroll (and for invites to three new upcoming offers)!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why selling is serving, not manipulating, when you’re offering transformation to your ideal clients.
  • How to adopt a CEO mindset and embrace sales as a necessary part of running a successful business.
  • The importance of listening more than you talk during sales conversations to build trust and rapport.
  • How to ask powerful questions that uncover your potential client’s deepest desires and challenges.
  • Why you should never try to convince someone to work with you and what to do instead.
  • The one practical tip for improving your sales conversations that you can implement right away.
  • How to evaluate your sales calls so you can serve your future clients even better in the future.

Resources

Read the full transcript now

You’re listening to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast with Debbie Sassen, Episode 154. 

Welcome to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast. I’m your host, Debbie Sassen. I went from being a financial adviser, author and chronic under earner to building my business to six figures as a financial planner and money mindset coach. And then, on to multiple six figures as a fulltime money and business coach. 

I help entrepreneurs create money making businesses and build wealth using sales and money mindset strategies in alignment with authentic Jewish values. Now, let’s dive into today’s show.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. Today, on the podcast, I am going to talk to you about sales. Sales is one of the fundamental skills that you need to run a successful business.

Lots of people have thoughts about selling. A lot of people do not like selling and they come to me. My goal is to make all of my clients fall in love with selling. I started selling when I was just a little girl. I had a lemonade stand. Selling lemonade to passers-by during a hot summer afternoon was a way to make my clients very, very happy.

And when I was a teenager, I worked in my cousin’s electronics store. I sold VCRs. I sold Instamatic cameras. I sold all the things. If you remember Atari games, Pong. I’m talking about the 1970s, so I’m dating myself a little bit. People came into the store to buy, and when I sold electronic goods, electronic devices that were so simplistic relative to what we have today, people left the store happy.

When you approach sales in your business with the mindset “this is how I’m going to make people happy. This is how I’m going to help people get what they want in life and in business,” it will change the way you think about sales.

So today we’re going to talk about three mindset shifts that I think are very simple to implement in your business. They might not always be easy, but if you work on changing the way you approach sales and think about sales, I think it really will do your business a ton of good. And then I’m going to give you one practical piece of advice at the end of the podcast. All right, so let’s dive in.

Number one: I had someone say to me recently, during a sales conversation as it was, she was interested in joining one of my programs. She did in the end. And if you’re listening and you remember our conversation, thank you very much because you inspired this entire podcast. 

She told me on our sales call, “I don’t want to be viewed as a life insurance salesperson.” Now, I don’t know what it is about insurance salespeople that they have a bad reputation. I usually use a used car salesman instead of life insurance, but I kind of get it. 

Sometimes you get these phone calls over and over and over again by insurance salesmen and they seem to be relentless. They don’t let you go. They’re kind of fuzz that sticks onto your jacket. It just doesn’t go away. But I do think, as a former financial planner, that life insurance is a very valuable way for you to protect your financial assets.

There’s a difference between term life insurance and whole life insurance. We’re not going into financial planning issues today or life insurance, but especially if you are the parent of children, young children in particular, insurance is a way for you to protect your family, your loved ones from financial devastation. But I digress. 

This beautiful woman did not want to be viewed as a life insurance salesman. So obviously she had a very bad mindset about what it was that a life insurance salesman was trying to do to her. And that approach, that mindset, that view, those thoughts about sales, someone who pushes and pushes and pushes, I can definitely see why you don’t want to be a pushy person. 

However, when I go back to what I just said, think about serving somebody a delicious cup of cold lemonade on a hot summer day. It’s 95F outside or 32C, they’re sweating, and it just tastes so delicious. Whatever it is that you are selling, all of my clients are beautiful, wonderful people.

And if you’re listening to this podcast, you are also selling something beautiful that helps to transform people’s lives. It could be coaching, which is what I do. Many of my clients are coaches. It could be that you’re a copywriter, and the beautiful words that you write, help your clients by the way, to sell whatever it is that they are selling. And then their services are going out into the world. 

Of course, we have to bear in mind that not everybody that you meet is going to want what you’re selling. Can you imagine if you’re a vegetarian and you go into a hamburger joint and they’re like, “No, no, you really have to try this hamburger. And we recommend that you get it medium rare. It’s juicy. We add lettuce, we add tomatoes, we add a slice of onion, and it’s so delicious. And the bun, it’s fresh. The bread is just so squishy. And you know what fresh bread, fresh buns, taste like.”

And you’re like, “But I don’t eat meat,” but they keep pushing and trying to sell you the hamburger. You have to understand that not everybody is going to want what you are serving. So if you were trying to sell hamburgers to vegetarians, then obviously they’re going to feel like you are a used car salesman or a life insurance agent or something like that. 

But there are people in the world who are carnivores and they want your hamburgers. And if you speak to them the right way, and you tell them how succulent and delicious and juicy your hamburgers are, then of course their mouth is going to water. They’re going to start salivating, and they’re going to want to buy your hamburgers. 

So you always have to understand that you are selling to the people that want what you have, want what you’re offering. You don’t have to sell your goods and services to 8 billion people in the world. You can’t even probably serve them anyway. Even Amazon doesn’t serve 8 billion people all at the same time. They serve a lot of people, but they have an entire delivery for us and lots of warehouses and Amazon sellers all over the world.

You just have your people. Today it might be 10 ideal clients. Tomorrow it could be 50 and then 100 and then 1,000, and you’re going to scale your business even into the thousands of clients that you’ll serve over the lifetime of your business. But just for today, focus on your audience, the people that you are really here to serve.

And my belief is that my clients are divinely contracted to work with me. They come into my world. They come into my audience. They’re interested in what I have to offer. And if I don’t sell to them, they’re going to walk away empty handed. They’re going to be disappointed.

I want you to take that mindset shift onto the work you do. When people reach out to you, my firm belief is that 80%, maybe even 90% of the people that get on a sales call with me, they want to work with me. And if I don’t manage that sales conversation correctly, they’re actually going to be disappointed because they wanted transformation today. They wanted results. They were looking for a solution. 

Can you imagine if you had a problem with your washing machine? Your washing machine was broken and it’s not washing your clothes. So then you call the appliance repairman and the appliance repairman doesn’t want to sell. He doesn’t want to come to your house. He’s like, “Well, it’s very uncomfortable for me to sell. So maybe you want to call somebody else, because this is a really uncomfortable conversation.” 

You’re not going to get your washing machine repaired. You’re not going to be able to wash your clothes. And now you’re going to have to make another phone call to another person and another person until you find somebody who can actually come and take care of your washing machine. 

I know this is maybe a silly example, but when you want something in your life, you want to change, you want somebody on the other end of the line to be responsive. They might ask you questions. “What happened? Did you get a sock stuck in the pipes or something like that? Is this a new problem? Okay, I’ll come over today at three o’clock and I’ll fix it.” That’s what we want, your people getting in touch with you. 

I really want you to take that to heart; when somebody reaches out to you because they’re interested in working with you. It’s not somebody who you maybe promised a free audit of their website. You’re not going to go and try to sell someone that you promised free advice or free services, or someone who reaches out to you for a free coaching call or a free healing session or a free meditation or something like that. 

Somebody with who you shared that you have free resources, that’s not the time to sell to them. You can bring them into your network. You can create this know, like, and trust factor. And at some point in the future, if they stick around and they reach out to you, well then you can sell to them. But in the beginning, you’re going to create the relationship.

And when they want, when they come to you, that’s when it’s okay for you to sell something to them, because they really want to work with you. So that is your mindset shift number one. 

When people reach out to you, selling is serving. We’re not pushing. We’re not going to be sleazy. We’re not going to be that used car salesman selling a lemon. Selling is beautiful. You’re giving your people what they want when you allow them to say yes to working with you.

Number two: I know a lot of people open up their businesses and they love the thing that they do. They’re a coach… I’m going to use my example… I’m a coach and I love being a coach. I love helping my clients have a transformation, seeing things a different way, helping them with strategies so that they can grow their business. 

So somebody opens a coaching business and they’re like, “No, but I just want to coach. I don’t want to have to do marketing. I don’t want to have to do selling. Can’t somebody do this for me? Why do I have to do it?” It’s like a cousin to this other thought that we had before, about selling is sleazy. Selling is manipulative, so I don’t want to do it. 

But a lot of times it just is a skill set that you didn’t learn. You learned how to be a coach. Or let’s take someone who’s a copywriter. You learned how to write words and put them on paper, put them up on a website. But you haven’t yet learned the skills of selling, so you just were like, “Well, maybe somebody else can do this for me.”

Here’s what I want to offer you. Perhaps there was a day, back in the day, where you actually worked for somebody else. You were a coach. You worked on somebody else’s coaching team or you were a copywriter. You might have worked in-house, in somebody else’s business. 

And at that time you were making $22/hour and you were like, “I can’t believe this. They’re charging the clients $100/hour and I’m only getting paid $22/hour. I could really go out and do this myself, open my own business and make more money.”

A lot of people open their businesses thinking like that. So here’s the thing. The CEO of that business where you were working before, they were actually doing the marketing. They were doing the selling. If they had a real office, they were probably paying rent, electricity, water. They were managing the money. They were taking on all the risk onto themselves.

And so everything that they received from their clients, that $100/hour had to be divided among all of the expenses. And of course, the CEO also needs a paycheck. They need to take home money as well, to feed their family. And so, yeah, that’s why you ended up with $22/hour in your pocket. 

So when you want to open up your own business, you can’t just stay in your comfort zone and do the thing that you do without doing the marketing and selling and money management. It’s part of running a business. If you are a CEO and you’re owning your own business, you have to have a CEO mindset, not an employee mindset. 

If you’re an employee, then somebody else is doing all the business activities and they’re taking the risk. Once you have flipped the script and you are now running your own business, you have to act like a business owner, which means you have to sell. Businesses sell. If you don’t close the sale, you don’t make money. 

Yeah, sometimes people will come to you and say, “I really want to work with you. Here’s $1,000. Here’s $10,000. Take my money.” And as you grow in your business and you develop a reputation, then you will be the one and only, and people will, or some of them will, reach out to you and just give you their money because you are the only one they want to work with. 

But until you get to that stage where people know you, and lots and lots of people know you, you’ve got to do the marketing. You’ve got to do the selling. And even as you continue to get known, you have to keep marketing and keep selling because people forget. You can’t just disappear out of their world and hope that they will continue to keep you top of mind. 

Businesses need to be run like proper businesses. You have to have a plan for how much money you want to make in your business in 2025. And then you have to do your marketing. You have to do your sales. You have to manage your money. You have to deal with all of the other business expenses. 

So if you are running your own business… you’ve decided whether you’re going to be a freelancer or you’re going to be a small business and have employees working with you… you have to think differently. That is the second mindset shift that you need to make. You have to do things, and you might not love all of the things. 

But hey, even as an employee, I remember doing lots and lots of things that I did not love doing because that’s what I did. It was my job. So guess what? You running a business is your job and some of it’s not going to be fun. You might have to take out your own trash. There’s no cleaning service coming to take the trash out of your office. You might have to deal with your computer issues, your tech issues, and your sales issues.

So the mindset shift is thinking like a CEO, where sales is part of what you do in your business. 

The third mindset shift you need as a salesperson in your business is that you sell as a sacred service, you do not convince. I bring this up because one of my clients this week was talking about convincing her potential client. She brought this word in and I wanted to challenge her on it. And she came back with it a second time. The first time I didn’t challenge her on it because the conversation, the coaching conversation, went a different way. But then she brought it up again.

When someone is trying to convince you… Just think about, I can think about my kids. They’re trying to convince me that I should let them, when they were younger, stay out late at night beyond their curfew. Or now my older kids convince me that they should have the car, because we just have one car and they borrow it from time to time.

When someone is trying to convince you to do something, it has that energy of doing it against your will. They’re trying to bring you over to what they want in a very pressurized… it just feels very aggressive. Not assertive, aggressive way. And so we naturally repel people who try to convince us. 

Even think about it in a marriage. If you were trying to convince your partner to do something, that is automatically going to set up a protective barrier. They’re going to be like, “No, you cannot come into my energetic space. I feel your energy. You’re trying to push. You’re trying to convince me. This feels very uncomfortable.” Are you with me? 

And that same thing can happen in a sales conversation. If you talk and talk and talk and talk and try to convince, convince, convince, your person is going to back off. They’re going to create a distance, an energetic difference between you and them. And they might even physically pull away from you. 

Even on Zoom, if you watch their energy, if you’re really looking at their body language, you might notice that they pull back from you because they’re feeling this force coming at them, this convincing energy.

A sales conversation is always about asking questions, trying to go deeper, and trying to understand what else. What else do they want? Why is what is currently going on in their life not working for them? Why do they think working with you would make a change? What do they want? What’s the transformation? 

See, these are all questions that we ask our person. Where do they want to be after you work together? What opens up for them after you’ve worked together and you’ve written a copy for their website? What is their dream? What are their goals? How can you work together to develop a strategy? 

Sales conversations are all about you asking questions, way more questions than talking. I want you to think about it like this because this will help you keep a visual in your mind. God created you with two ears and one mouth. Do you know what that means? When you get on a sales conversation, you should be listening two times more than you are talking. 

If you notice that you are talking most of the sales conversation, you’re doing it wrong. You should be asking a question and listening. Ask another question and listen again. Just ask someone what else do they want? What else do they want? Why is what’s going on now not working? Do they have any fears? What will be different for them? 

Do you notice that you can ask a short question, it’s maybe five or six words, and then they can say a paragraph or two paragraphs or three paragraphs. The more questions you ask, the easier it is for you to understand what’s really happening in the mind of your client. 

And really think about it as you going into a doctor’s office and you’re going to share with your doctor everything that’s going on. The doctor will ask you what’s happening. Do you have a fever? When did it start? You’ll be able to tell your story and the doctor listens. Most doctors don’t spend a lot of time talking. They’re doing their investigation and they’re thinking. 

They’re processing the information and then they’re going to create their diagnosis. They don’t spend an entire meeting with you, an entire doctor’s visit with you, trying to convince you that you should take this antibiotic. Because they’ve listened. They have created trust between you and them. 

And you may have been seeing this doctor for a while. You might notice that they’re thinking, they’re assessing different options in their head, and then they’re going to give you their treatment plan. 

That’s what I want you to consider when you are having a sales conversation with your client. They will give you all of their symptoms. They will tell you what they want after they work with you, what’s their ideal result or solution, and then you’re going to present them with your treatment plan.

But again, you are doing mostly listening and just a little bit of talking. That’s going to build trust. People love to talk. They want someone to listen to them. They want to be able to share their problems. Listen to your people. Then, after you really understand deeply what’s happening, then you can present to them the way that you can work together.

I think the one mistake people make on their sales calls is they make them too short. I advise my clients, and it depends on what kind of business you’re in… Sometimes you can make the sales calls shorter if you’re a more product-based business.

If you’re in a business like I am, coaching or even copywriting or website designing, where you really want to get to the bottom of what’s going on with your clients, it might be 30 or 45 or even 60 minutes that you spend on the sales call with your potential client. 

So those are the three mindset shifts. Number one: No pushy used car salesman energy. Number two: Sales are sacred and they’re part of your job as a business owner. And number three: No convincing and talking and pushing. Listen way more than you talk. 

The additional practical aspect that I want to bring to this is that you need to do evaluations of your sales calls. Because only by reviewing what happened in your sales call… And if you do your sales calls on Zoom, you can have AI in the background, you can have Fathom… 

That’s what I use when I’m on my sales calls. I don’t share them. My potential clients can easily see that I’m recording, that I have a transcript that’s being recorded in the background. Of course, if your potential client doesn’t want it recorded, then you turn off the recording. But this gives you all the words your client said and all the words that you said so you can go back and review.

You can actually see what you’ve said, or listen over to the sales call, and you can notice, did I get salesy or pushy? Did I talk too much? Did I miss something that my client said and that’s where I fumbled the sales call? The evaluation part of the sales conversation is for you, so that you can get better. Your skillset as a salesperson can get better. 

And also, do you know what it does? It allows you to serve all of your future clients so much better. Because the next person who gets on a sales call with you, sales conversation, consult, discovery call, whatever you call them, the next person who wants transformation, who wants a different result from what they have right now, because you have improved your sales skills, you’ll be able to help them more quickly.

And then you go back, you analyze your sales call, you do an evaluation, and then you tweak something else. Because none of us are perfect. We all have places that we can improve on our sales calls. And one by one by one, you will improve your skillset as a salesperson. 

Don’t think that you’re not a good salesperson. Don’t think that you can’t figure it out, you can’t learn it. It’s just a skill that you’ve never learned or that you learned a little bit. You’re a little bit rusty. You can improve your sales calls. 

So that’s it my friends. Those are the three mindset shifts and one practical application so that you can get better on your sales calls. As I said, these are simple. It really is not rocket science, but it’s not easy. You have to commit to positive change in your business.

All right, my friends, thank you so much for tuning in to the Jewish entrepreneur podcast today. I want to let you know that if you are not yet on my email list, you really should sign up. Because, first of all, I share very valuable content once a week, at least, on my email list. But we’re now nearing the end of November and I’m going to be having some fun Black Friday sales, and you really want to be there to find out what I’m selling for Black Friday. 

So go to my website, DebbieSassen.com/newsletter and get on my newsletter. I will see you next week on the podcast. Bye-bye, for now.

Thanks for listening to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast. If you want to stop underselling and underearning and close more sales, you need to clear the limiting money beliefs that are sabotaging your business growth. 

Head on over to DebbieSassen.com/mindset and download my free Money Mindset Workbook. Uncover and dissolve money blocks, like hundreds of other entrepreneurs who are now building six-, multi-six-, and seven-figure businesses and creating true financial freedom.

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