I think that this is a big piece of the angst that hovers over America as we enter 2025.  Many people feel stuck in a space where they are simply existing and not able to break through to a place where they are gaining ground towards building a future.

It can be an unfulfilling job that doesn’t have long term growth or the inability to buy a house.  It is also the slow growth of consumer debt while simply making monthly interest payments.  This state of being where things aren’t totally falling apart, but also isn’t moving forward is frankly the most frustrating place to be.

How to Move From Existing to Building

This question is so challenging because it is unique for each person or family.  Everyone has different constraints and also different opportunities.  Generic advice, which the internet is the best at, can never factor in all of these unique things for each person and so each individual needs to put in the effort to become the expert on your particular situation.

Reality is Your Best Friend

For anyone trying to break out of the malaise of simply treading water, the first step is to really get a feel for what is going on.  This is a simple, yet often challenging first step.  If you know there are some rough spots in your finances then its not something that is exciting to look at.  Also, if you know the path is going to be long to get to a secure financial position then it can be daunting to make a plan.

Here are some tips for getting a handle on your current reality:

• Do the work in an enjoyable location.  Go to a favorite coffee shop or pick a comfortable spot in your house, but cultivate a good vibe to start out.
• Reserve judgement on yourself.  The goal is to know where you are at and not to compare to where you could be.  Have grace for where you are at.
• Get spreadsheet help if you need it.  I am this person for my wife.  She does not do spreadsheets and so I build them for us.  If you aren’t built for spreadsheet, chances are there is a nerd in you life who is and could help you.  There are also great tools coming out all the time to help you get a clear picture of where you money is going.

Are you open to a big move?

Back in 2016, my wife and I were in this spot in Austin.  We had managed to buy a house, but we were simply not making enough to keep up with rising costs at that point.  We had two young kids and had managed to buy a house in 2011, but we were feeling stuck.

For us, the big move was relocating to Spokane, Washington.  This was returning home for me, but it was a massive move for my wife.  It was tough, but it allowed us to leverage our one asset which was the value from our home in South Austin.  I was also able to find a great job in Spokane because I had experience at a couple of big companies in Austin that gave my resume weight.

For other people, moving cities could involve moving to a more expensive city since the pay for many careers is significantly higher in the coastal cities.  This can be daunting, but in the end it may be the best move for the long term.

This was our move, but I’m sure others would have different considerations.  It can be moving from a city you love like we did, changing careers or looking at something unconventional about how you live.

We’ve had multiple friends go to a single car which is a pretty major savings in their life, but it is actually a pretty big move in our modern car centric world.

Thinking Unconventionally

Going to a single car is an example of the type of thinking that can hep you move to building wealth instead of treading water.  Most other examples of looking at unconventional options revolve around living situations.  Here are some potential options to consider:

• Go small. This isn’t necessarily a tiny house, but considering a 1200 square foot house for a family of 4 is an example of living somewhat unconventionally that can have a major impact on bills.
• Living multi-generationally.  This is definitely one that isn’t for everyone, but if you have a relationship with your family that makes this an option, it could be an amazing way to reduce expenses for everyone involved.  Additionally, people love to point out how people in their 20s are moving home at higher rates, but if you have a plan it may be the right move for a period.
• Move to the Country.  In order for this to be unconventional, it would involve not getting your 10 acres, but in most cities moving a little bit out of town drops the price for real estate a lot.
• Never Buying a House. In certain cities, the right call might be to focus on investing in other areas and simply finding a good rental situation.  Removing the pressure to save a massive down payment may open up enough other options that are frankly better in the long term.
• Moving Overseas.  You mostly hear about this from FIRE people moving to places like Portugal, but it could also be moving somewhere for a job that allows you to save at a high rate for several years.  I predict opportunities like this will only increase as population shifts happen across the world.

Being Patient and Keep Improving

Its possible that you need to make a big move.  For some people, major change is required to break out of a bad trajectory.  For others, its just being patient.  The internet is great at showing us people who have made their millions by age 30, but for most people it is a slower journey.

If you have young kids and things are tight due to child care, then it could be as simple as waiting for the kids to start school.  It could also be progressing in your career or a business that just needs time to develop.

Its good to keep an eye on spending and not let your lifestyle get away from you, but it is quite possible that the right answer is to stay the current course.   Salaries grow over time and businesses gain ground, but it often can’t be accelerated beyond a certain amount.

The hardest period for this is the season where you first transition from existing to building since you won’t see the numbers in your bank account yet.  Putting those first solid deposits into investments feeds the desire for more, but the real key is just running it back year after year.

Final Thoughts

The most important step to break away from simply existing and surviving financially is to take some time to evaluate you situation.  The right answer could be as simple as getting serious about budgeting.  If your spending habits haven’t been evaluated for a while then maybe you can free up enough money to make a turn towards saving and building wealth.

For many, more significant changes may be needed.  Maybe a move to a new city is the answer or perhaps starting to pursue a new career.  There likely isn’t an easy solution and so being willing to make a big move or think unconventionally may be necessary.  The worst thing is to stay stuck.

For some, the answer is really to stay the current course and let things grow.  This can be a challenging spot in its own right, but it why its so important to really understand your reality in order to make the right choice.

By: Chris Bemis